Be A Good Son or Daughter

Thanks for posting the article about mother. It's very touching indeed. In fact, the article reflects on myself and my mom when she was alive. I believe I didn't appreciate her enough when she was around. Sometimes I feel that I was too ignorant, arrogant and unloving. I miss her deeply now and I wish I can tell her how much I love her.

I visited my parents less than 5 times a year. My reason of not going back was always "I am busy due to my job" or "I cannot let go of my on-going project now". Both of my parents accepted my reasons without any objection as usual. Now, I am quitting my job thinking, "What the fuck have I done???". I should have quit my hectic and problematic job long ago when my parents were alive to spend more time with them. Maybe their death makes me realise there are more important things than a career, triggering me to quit the meaningless job.

My dad was the one always got over excited about me going back home. My mom would be the one busy preparing my favourite dishes. In the past, my mom was the one broke down and cried whenever I left for KL/PJ. In their final 1 year, my dad was the one who broke down instead - he feared he would never see me again knowing that his health was getting worse.

During the final 1 year, whenever I went home to Penang, my mom would always wait for me to have dinner/lunch together. Even at 10pm, she was still waiting. She would not eat as long as I didn't reach home, even when I told her to have her dinner without waiting for me before leaving the house. Once, I even scolded her for waiting for me and showing her my "pig face". I should not have scolded her in the first place. The day after her funeral, when I had my dinner alone, I was so desperately hoping that my mom was sitting next to me having our dinner....but my wish came too late.

My last phone conversation with my mom still haunts me today. I asked whether there's anything she wanted from me or was there anything she wanted me to buy for her from PJ. As usual, she could not think of anything she wanted. So, I told her to think about it and I would call her back in a few days. The next morning at about 8am, I received a phone call from my sister crying on the phone that my mom was not breathing and there's no heart beat. I could hardly believe what she said because my mom was perfectly healthy. I insisted that she checked carefully. The phone calls between us went on and off for about 1 hour. My hope was shattered when the paramedic confirmed that my mom was gone.

4 months later my dad followed the same path but at least I was at his death bed and we were prepared for it. I have never forgotten how caring he was when I was on my first few days at school. He would drop by at my class during recess time by bringing me some food and checked whether I was doing fine. He would also take me out of the house to prevent me from being beaten by my mom when I was a naughty problematic rebellious boy at home.

Being a very protective mother all her life, I hope she will still protect me when I start my own IT business in less than 1 month. I still remember complaining about my job years ago. She told me she wished that her grandfather's business was still around for me to carry on without suffering working for other people. Now that I have decided not to work for anyone but to work for myself, I really need her blessing.

I hope all my friends will appreciate their loved ones better than myself.